I’ve been quiet here on my blog and fairly quiet on social media as well. The truth is, I have been tired and a bit burned out. It was more important to keep DailyOM in good shape during this pandemic- I had the energy for that, but not much else. Let me explain.
The pandemic left me exhausted and the feeling of isolation for me was overwhelming as being social is part of my health routine. In 2020, like with everybody else, my son was home from school and summer camps were cancelled. Employee safety and quality of life, deadlines, budgets, growth – business had to continue and I had to be strong for my team. Whatever energy I had went to my team, my business and my son. I don’t know if everybody feels about their employees the way that I do, but once they are hired they are like family to me and I make sure they are taken care of. (and that included worrying about them!) I also had to become a makeshift teacher, something I thought I would enjoy and love but instead became a daily hassle. This was echoed across the globe by so many other parents.
I went into emergency mode, only getting accomplished the things that were vital to the day. This did not serve me and nobody can survive in that type of energy but running a business from home was very difficult and homeschooling on top of it just seemed impossible. We were all in the unknown and the entire world was turned on its head.
I made sure to take care of myself the best that I could and work my daily practice which my book Unmedicated is based on. Even on the days I didn’t want to, those were the days it was more important than ever. How could I ask my readers to follow my advice if I don’t do it for myself? I found a new walk that was a loop and could be walked in 10-15 minutes. Rather than call or email friends I made sure to Facetime or Zoom as that made it feel more personal and I became less lonely. In the back garden, I had my setup for reading, writing and meditation even though I found all of those tools very difficult to use under so much stress – I tried anyway. I took baths, lots of baths, with potions of essential oils, salts and the random flowers or herbs tossed in.
To throw a wrench into things, this past summer (2021) I had to have major surgery and 4 weeks later my son had emergency surgery. (he’s fine now) My surgery really took whatever energy I had left and I needed a good 12 weeks to feel somewhat normal again. I really hate feeling foggy-headed and relying on others for help but that is what was needed and I journeyed through it with as much grace as I could muster. I wanted a break, but I didn’t want it in that way! Oh, universe, you slay me sometimes. Honestly.
Slowly, I’m beginning to rebuild and unwind from the uprooting. I’m able to relax and let go- my creativity has returned and new ideas are bubbling. My need at a soul-level to help people is still as strong as ever, that will never go away. I had so much personal growth over these months even though It came in a package I didn’t care for.
I feel like this time period is ushering in a new season for me for the next part of my life. I don’t know if my work will change or how it will shift, but I feel something sitting in my auric field waiting for me to invite it in. When I know, I will share it with you.
I didn’t want to go into a lot of detail here or seem as though I was complaining as all of us were in the same boat. I just wanted to let you know that yep, I’m still human and was having a bit of a hard time.
I look forward to reconnecting with all of you. Let’s keep in touch. May your days be happy and creative. – Madisyn